1. Song must be bad. Really, really bad. – don’t cover a classic great song. Last contest, some dumb dumbs thought it would be great to cover awesome tracks. …and they won NOTHING. Because they couldn’t follow simple fucking rules.
2. Must subscribe. All entrants must be subscribed to the channel! It doesn’t take any effort to hit that button, and it makes all the difference.
3. No intro core – If you take longer than 30 seconds to start the song, you’re out. I’m not interested in your long, drawn out introductions to set the mood. I already know what the song is going to be, I could figure that part out, all by myself, by reading the fucking title. Seriously, last contest, half the bands tried to put us to sleep with bullshit introductions. Here’s a simple slogan to follow: Fuck the Context, get to the point.
4. No exceptions to this rule list: If you think you’re going to win something because you did a pop punk cover, then fuck you, you’re obviously too dumb to follow basic rules and you might as well quit now.
5. Must submit a music video- Please make an actual video. Not just a still frame while the music plays. I want to reward awesome creativity. And no, I’m not making an exception for you.. See Rule #4.
6. No whining/complaining – This one really pissed me off the last time I did a contest. The amount of entitled whiny bitches commenting really turned me off. There was a lot of “oh, I should have won because I worked hard on my video.” “He shouldn’t have won, mine was better” that kind of thing. Let’s be very clear: I don’t have time for that bullshit. I was so disillusioned with the last contest, I never even announced the winners. I just mailed them thier prizes, and congratulated them privately, because of the shitstorm going on in the comments section. It’s also the reason I didn’t do a contest last year.
This year, it’s going to be different… I’m putting a strict “no whining” rule in place. If you whine or complain about someone else’s video getting a better reaction than yours, or If you complain about how the contest is being run, you will be immediately disqualified.
It’s my contest, I make the rules, I reward who I want to. If that’s not good enough, go enter someone else’s contest and bitch at them. Look, I get it, you work hard on your video… well, I work very hard on videos all the time, and sometimes they don’t get the reception I think they deserve either. But I don’t complain about it, I just try harder next time.
7. Only one entry per person/act – Pretty self explanatory.
8. No INSTRUMENTALS. I want to hear you sing, grunt, or otherwise, make us cringe!
9. No bitching you didn’t make it on the show – I plan on doing a weekly or bi-weekly react show,…. It may even be live! I hope to put all of the entries on it… if you don’t see yours, well, it’s not that I didn’t see it, it’s just that I didn’t put it on the show. See Rule #6.
10. Must be a song released in the 90s. That means no 80s songs or songs from the 2000s. Please keep the songs between 1990 and 1999. It’s kind of the theme of this contest, it’s easy to stick to, and you will be publicly shamed if you can’t follow this incredibly simple rule.
11. No metal – Sorry, that’s too easy.
12. No barbie girl – I fucking mean it!
13. New content ONLY! If your video has been posted before June 15, 2020, well you can fuck right off. I’m not interested in your old broken down recycled content. I want you to get creative and make a new video, for Crom’s sake!